I went for an eye exam last week and my optometrist told me my eyes were too dry and she suggested me to blink more when I’m working at a computer. She told me to get a post it, write “BLINK” on it and put it on my monitor so that I would automatically blink more when starting at my screen. Ok, great!

But I really want to talk about overwhelm. Some days I’m feeling totally overwhelmed at work. I get paralyzed, I can’t plan my next actions, I compulsively check email, or news, or whatever, I forget to take notes… I’ve been talking about this my therapist and one of the things she recommended was practicing identifying my overwhelm symptoms right when they start. For me the signs are racing thoughts, inability to focus, higher heart rate, headache and an overall feeling of unease.

And when I notice those signs, I should start my Overwhelm First Aid Kit routine. Inspired by the “BLINK” post it, I created one with my overwhelm emergency checklist and put it on my board, so that I can easily look at it and calm down.

The steps are:

1. STOP! Take 3 deep breaths.

2. Step away: get up and look out the window, get some water or tea.

3. Notice body sensations: what am I feeling right now? Naming the sensations helps them slow down.

4. Mind Sweep: WRITE! Helps getting thoughts out of my head, because they are bombarding me.

5. Plan and Resume: After I calm down, create a plan of what to do next.

6. FOCUS! Close distractions and start working on the next action.

7. Celebrate my progress 🙌.

I had an overwhelm incident at work yesterday, and I took a long time to identify it and snap out of it. I had unconsciously tensed my body and clenched my jaw, and by the end of the day I had a sore neck and shoulder.

Now I am more aware of when overwhelm starts creeping in and hopefully this post-it will help me get out of it sooner.

#journal #overwhelm #mentalhealth #noisymusings

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By Noisy Deadlines Minimalist in progress, nerdy, introvert, skeptic. I don't leave without my e-reader.

My partner tested positive for COVID-19 and he has been feeling awful for 4 days now but no fever. I'm still testing negative, but my throat is sore, and I feel a little weak and slow today.

We are both isolating ourselves, I'm working from home. We cancelled our plans to visit some friends in Montreal this weekend.

I'm glad my partner and I are not having any serious symptoms, thanks to the (four) booster vaccines :)

This is the first time during the whole pandemic that we got in really close contact with the virus, I guess. Neither of us has ever tested positive or had symptoms before.

I feel like switching to Holiday-mode this year feels harder than usual for some reason. I will be on vacation next week, so I plan on going for some winter hikes. And also: read a lot, being cozy under blankets with a cup of tea. Watch some shows that have been on my @to-watch list for a while. Do longer yoga sessions. Journal whenever I feel like.

I guess it’s been such a busy year for us, we’ve completed a bunch of long-term projects that started 3-4 years ago, which is nice. So many things happened, good and bad, and it has been a little overwhelming.

I really need time off. I hope I will get into my end-of-year reflection mode and find some stillness.

And here some snowy visuals (I love the snow that accumulates in tree branches, looks like cotton candy)

#health #covid #journal #noisymusings #winter

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By Noisy Deadlines Minimalist in progress, nerdy, introvert, skeptic. I don't leave without my e-reader.

I’ve noticed that almost every morning I wake up to my racing thoughts. My alarm has not gone off yet, but my mind can’t go back to sleep. For the most part they are illogical thoughts, anxieties, worries, in no coherent order. It feels like I’m half-dreaming. Sometimes I look at the time and it’s only half an hour before my usual alarm clock. Then my alarm goes off and these crazy thoughts stop after I get up.

I was thinking that the moment I realize those thoughts is the moment to actually wake up. Like if it was a natural waking up time for me. Like my brain is telling me: “ok, that’s enough for today, let’s get up!”. I’m not sure that’s the case, but I wonder if it makes sense. I’m so conditioned to getting up after my alarm clock! I don’t remember the last time I woke up on my own.

One thing I’ve been doing right before I close my eyes to sleep is: I mentally lay out my morning routine and tell myself how great it will feel. My morning routine is:

• Get up, drink some water.
• Go to the next room where I have my yoga mat.
• Sit down and meditate for at least 10 minutes.
• Do at least 15 minutes of yoga.
• Do a final stretch and go take a shower.

I noticed that when I don’t take these steps, my day will not feel the same. I’m known to sleep in on the weekends and then I skip this whole routine, only to regret it later. So, I’m trying to keep the same morning routine even on weekends because I know it works for me.

Another thing I’ll try is: noticing when my brain is racing in the morning and actually getting out of bed (even before my alarm clock) and see what happens. Will I have the mental awareness to get myself up? Can I wake up “naturally”? I’ll see how this experiment goes...

#journal #noisymusings #sleep #thoughts

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By Noisy Deadlines Minimalist in progress, nerdy, introvert, skeptic. I don't leave without my e-reader.

I feel like I was in the middle of a storm for the last couple of months, and now I see clear skies and calmness. I spent 10 days in my home country, reconnected with my family, got stressed about Brazilian bureaucracy, had some fun, organized paperwork and got back to Canada, a place I recognize as home now. Fall is my favorite season, so I was back in time to see leaves falling, the orange hues of dusk and cool days.

I’m ready for winter. I’ve accomplished a lot this year already, so I just want to chill. I’ve had challenges and good stuff happening, and I’m grateful for all of them. After all, we are what we do every day. I can highlight a few things:

• It was our first year as homeowners: the joys of shoveling snow from our driveway during winter and worrying about squirrels in the attic.
• Enjoyed all the trails and bike paths around my neighborhood.
• Me and my partner are Canadian Citizens now!
• I completed an important step of a professional designation I’ve been working towards for the past 4 years.
• My dad passed away and I now see that as a good life lesson in awareness of our mortality. It was tough in the beginning, but I used mindfulness to acknowledge it and accept it.
• I visited my family in Brazil, and I feel that closed off nicely this year’s cycle of goals, challenges and joys.

So, for the rest of this year, I want to reconnect with my writing and hobbies, enjoy winter, and remember to practice “non-doing”. I read about this in the book “Wherever you go, there you are”. It has nothing to do with being lazy:

“Non-doing simply means letting things be and allowing them to unfold in their own way.” ― Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life

The author also mentions that any meditation practice is a form of “non-doing” in which we are able to step away from the busyness of our lives and to “contemplate, to make time for being, for purposefully not doing anything.”

I will choose only a couple projects I want to focus on this winter and put the rest away for the spring. I will focus on activities that are relaxing and help me wind down, such as: yoga, meditation, reading, long walks, calm mornings, journaling.

⛄ I wish all a cozy winter (for all you folks in northern hemisphere)! And a happy summer, if you are in the southern portion of the globe.

#journal #NoisyMusings

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By Noisy Deadlines Minimalist in progress, nerdy, introvert, skeptic. I don't leave without my e-reader.

There are things that impact my well-being directly. They are habits that grouped together can become rituals. If I stop doing one of those things, I start to feel off. My anxiety creeps in, I start to feel overwhelmed, I worry too much, my body hurts, I can’t have a good night’s sleep. Some of them are part of my daily habits, others are weekly or monthly habits. I get the best results when I do them regularly.

These are 10 important things I can’t leave without:

1. Reading books + Book Club: I once wrote about the reasons I’m a reader. I enjoy it because it helps me deal with my busy mind. I’m always having ideas, questions, worries and plans. Reading works like a break: I get away from it all and dive into a different world, so it feels calming to me. It’s also a good concentration exercise. And combining reading with a Book Club makes it even more fun. I get a chance to discuss ideas with other people in a more structured/themed way. I read daily.

2. Sleeping 7-8 hours a day: I need my sleep. Period. I aim for going to bed at 9:45pm and waking up at 5:15am. It can vary +/– 15 minutes. But I try to keep my sleep routine within this range. I never go to be after 10pm, and if I do I know I’ll be tired and cranky the next day.

3. Exercise Daily / Yoga: I’ve had a history of debilitating back pain throughout my adult life. It was only after I started exercising regularly, for years, that I became pain free. I’ve learned my lesson: I need to move! So I have a mandatory daily routine: I stretch in the morning. I have a series of stretches I do everyday, no matter what. Then I try to combine it with a yoga session or a series of core strengthening exercises. I usually spend 20 minutes in the morning with this routine everyday. Whenever I can, I add walking, running, cycling, a longer yoga session in the evenings and weekends.

4. Meditating every morning: I do a minimum of 10 minutes and combine it with my morning exercise, so it has become a ritual. Sometimes if I’m feeling overwhelmed later in the day I will add in another meditation session in the evening/before bed.

5. Eating healthy and with care due to my gut problems: I have acid reflux and gastritis. It started after I joined the work force, so I think work stress had something to do with it. Anyway, I keep a restricted diet: no coffee, no carbonated drinks of any kind, no alcohol, no acidic foods, no spicy foods, low carbs, restrict lactose and eating in regular intervals. I know that when I indulge in one of those restrictions, my acid reflux flares up, so I home cook my own meals as much as I can and avoid eating out.

6. Writing: I have a private journal and this blog. Writing gives me time for reflection and gratitude. It helps me clear my thoughts, calm my mind and understand my feelings. I’ve been trying to write daily (either on my private journal or my blog) and this habit seems to be the hardest to keep every day. I love it after I’m done but lately just getting started has been a struggle. I’m working on it.

7. Having alone time: I’m an introvert so I need alone time once in a while. Reading a book qualifies as alone time to me, but also does listening to music or just sitting down with a cup of tea looking out a window. I need alone time more than ever after a work day with too many meetings, for example. Or even after a Book Club meeting, as much as I enjoy it, I need to recharge for the next couple days. So I try to space out social events.

8. Listening to music: I remember a time when I would lay down in my bed and listen to a full album, non-stop, and would just look at the ceiling or close my eyes enjoying the music. Sometimes the album told a story, sometimes it made me cry or smile. This was before music streaming and AI generated playlists. I still listen to music, mostly while I’m cooking, exercising, working on something that requires concentration or cleaning the house. It’s usually rock, heavy metal and, lately, folk metal. I have a couple playlists I created myself. It’s rare for me to listen to a full album as I used to. That’s something I’ll start doing more.

9. Going for walks: I think I underestimated the benefits of a long walk before the COVID-19 pandemic. With the COVID lockdowns, I started to regularly go out for a walk outdoors, since it was the only activity outside I could do safely. My partner joined me, so walking has become our “together-alone” time. It can either be around our neighborhood, in a park, a trail, by the river, doesn’t matter. But walking regularly is a great way to exercise and calm the mind. I prefer not to listen to music or podcasts or anything while walking.

10. Touch base with family/friends: I’m an immigrant living in a country 10,000 km away from my homeland. It’s easy to feel alone and loose touch with loved ones because of the distance. Since I left Facebook/Instagram, I don’t get any updates or news from people over seas. I keep in touch with friends with messenger groups and I have regular scheduled video calls sessions with my family. Even though the pandemic made it harder to visit them in person, touching base with them regularly makes all the difference, even if it is virtual.

I didn’t know these things were important to me. It took me years and a lot of trial and error to understand the things that keep me a happy human being. Have you ever thought about it?

My favorite place in the morning: where my day starts

#noisymusings #health #habits

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By Noisy Deadlines Minimalist in progress, nerdy, introvert, skeptic. I don't leave without my e-reader.

… to pick up a hold and I’m greeted with this Groundhog. 🤓 Yay, more days of reading!

#noisymusings #journal #reading

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By Noisy Deadlines Minimalist in progress, nerdy, introvert, skeptic. I don't leave without my e-reader.

About a year ago I deleted my social media accounts. I thought I had done it long ago. But, no, it’s been a year!

So, what have I learned?

• The only thing that worked for me to stay away from social media was: total disconnection. Delete them. For real. After I deleted my accounts I thought many times about re-creating them but I also remembered how annoying it was. And how distracted I used to get. So, it was important in the first week to remember WHY I deleted them in the first place.
• I didn’t need to do this all by myself, relying on my willpower alone (I tried, never worked). I used technology to fight technology. For the first few months, I used the app Freedom on all my devices to create a barrier. And it worked. The secret for me was being able to stay away from social media long enough to get my brain back to a “baseline” with no constant dopamine-induced activities. I started to feel my brain working differently 1-2 months in.
• I started going out for long walks. Looking back now, it was not an easy time: the COVID-19 pandemic, dead of winter in my region, short days, and freezing temperatures. But it was the only thing I could do to fill in the void. I had to be outside. I learned that snow pants are awesome and that it’s okay to walk around with a headlamp (there are no lights on the pathway by the river, where I used to walk).
• After deleting social media I still had the urge to scroll something. Anything. I would scroll through my email inbox. But it was finite so sometimes I would open a news portal and just scroll. I was not interested in anything that was there, but I needed to SCROLL. This behavior lasted for some weeks. Then I realized how pointless it was.
• Sometimes I feel like I want to scroll something, even today. I still use RSS feeds so that became my “scrolling” thing. I paired down my feeds with only a small number of blogs I regularly read. So it’s a manageable list now, I scroll but it’s not an endless pit of junk anymore
• I now feel repulsed by any website that is too “social-media-like”. Or that has too many ads. I avoid them all.
• If I have a question about something I’ll go to Wikipedia first to find the answer. I feel like I’m 13 years old again going to the library and opening up an Encyclopedia to search for an answer.
• I read better. I can read a book non-stop for an hour now. But that happened only recently. It took me months to be able to just sit down and read for more than half an hour without fidgeting or grabbing my phone.
• I learned that it is important to embrace boredom. The best way to train it for me is to go out for walks, with nothing in my ears. No music. No podcasts. Just my breathing and surrounding sounds.
• I decreased my podcast consumption. A lot!
• I learned that I don’t enjoy audiobooks that much. I hear that one of the advantages of audiobooks is that you can read while doing something else. I tend to prefer to do one thing at a time. I can occasionally listen to podcasts while doing the dishes or cleaning the house, for example, but not books, especially if I’m enjoying it. When I’m reading something I need to pay attention and focus and reflect. Audiobooks don’t go at my mind’s speed, I guess.

Some people do a regular “digital detox” for a short or long period of time and then get back to whatever they were avoiding without letting it turn into a compulsive behavior again. Trying to use social media in moderation never worked for me. This technology evolves every day with new ways to hook us up and maybe I don’t have the energy to fight it all the time.

I’m happier now 😎. I love the Internet, but only some (quieter) corners of it.

#socialmedia #attentionresistance #internet #noisymusings

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By Noisy Deadlines Minimalist in progress, nerdy, introvert, skeptic. I don't leave without my e-reader.

Overconsumption. I veered off the path of excess consumption of material goods a few years ago. Minimalism was my tool for that. I like the definition given by The Minimalists:

Minimalism is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s important—so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom.

Noticing objects and material stuff around us is easy. It’s visible. We can plan decluttering sessions and visibly see space getting created. Now, what about intangible stuff? Information? Thoughts? Memories? Worry?

I don’t have excess material possessions anymore. Everything I have is enough and fills my needs. That doesn’t mean I live with less than 100 items, it just means I have what I consider is enough for myself and my lifestyle. It’s not about restrictions, it’s about eliminating the superfluous.

But I’ve been consuming and accumulating a lot of digital stuff over the years: hundreds of clipped articles on Evernote, guides and manuals I never read, RSS feeds from dozens of sites, articles to read saved on Instapaper or Pocket, dozens of newsletters cluttering my inbox, social media feeds.

It took a while, but I opted out of many of those digital things and now I think I have only what is meaningful to me:

• I subscribe to 5 newsletters now, having unsubscribed from dozens in the past months. This amount is not overwhelming to me right now. It feels manageable.
• I cancelled my Instapaper subscription. I had this idea that I would build a digital library with my notes and all the articles I read over time. I realized it was not important to me. I had more articles than I had time to read them. And the list of unread articles made me feel anxious. So I decided not to collect articles anymore. I much rather read a book.
• I unsubscribed from dozens (if not hundreds) of RSS feeds. I kept 5 blogs and 1 comic strip (Dilbert) that I still enjoy reading once in a while.
• I don’t use Evernote anymore. It was too easy to just collect stuff. If I want to take notes I use Standard Notes. Creating > collecting.
• I stopped listening to a few podcasts. From a list of 15+ podcasts I was subscribed to, I decided to stick with 5 of them. And I don’t feel obliged to listen to all of them. I look at the feed and decide if it is an episode that interests me, otherwise, I just delete it.
• I stopped using social media.
• I cut down the time I spent watching YouTube. I still enjoy some science-related channels, but since I stopped using social media, I don’t feel the pull to go to YouTube anymore.
• I still read books. That’s one type of information that energizes me. And opting out of all the other forms of digital consumption gave me more time to enjoy reading.

I've simplified many aspects of my life already. Little things like creating a uniform for myself (black pants and a shirt) to go to work make it super easy to get dressed up. I don't waste energy in the morning choosing this or that fashion trend. It’s liberating. Same thing with my breakfast: I eat the same meal every day. It's automatic: I prepare my omelet in the morning and that's it.

I feel like I have more headspace now. It’s a subtle change, but it’s there. Things are slowing down in my mind. I don't crave newsfeeds anymore. On the contrary, I cringe when I see any type of random automated endless newsfeed now. I feel calmer. I feel like I can make decisions. Even the smallest ones were hard for me at times: What should I choose from the sandwich menu? Which phone call should I make first? Which book should I read? What do I want for dinner? It’s all clearer now.

I've regained my love of reading. And my ability to read for long hours. There is space now!

#noisymusings #journal #minimalism

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By Noisy Deadlines Minimalist in progress, nerdy, introvert, skeptic. I don't leave without my e-reader.

Tomorrow I’ll be back to working at the office full time. I’ve been working from home since April 5th, 2021 now. And before that, it was 30 days at home in January/February. So it was a total of 86 days working from home in 2021 or almost 60% of the total days.

I don’t hate working from home, on the contrary, I think it’s refreshing. Maybe if I lived someplace bigger with a dedicated office to work on, I would say I could never go back to a corporate office environment again. But the industry I work in doesn’t really appreciate remote work. On the contrary, my company believes that remote work can’t and will never build “the corporate culture”. They’ve given the employees the means to work from home during the worst of the pandemic when we were in lockdown. But deep down, most managers deeply hated it.

After the first lockdown period, where everybody was working from home, the senior managers of my company decided that they can’t do it, so they came back to the office. So for a long time they were the “skeleton crew” at the office while the rest of the team was at home, trying to deal with all the challenges that this new arrangement brought. I mention this because, for some period of time when schools and daycares were closed, it was painful to watch my co-workers trying to be in a meeting with their kids wanting their attention. Everybody was stressed, nobody could keep the same productivity levels, and still, the senior managers were demanding the same level of compromise. For them, the world was normal. They were quietly working in their individual offices, not having to face the working-from-home challenge.

And now I’m getting back to the office. I got the first dose of the COVID vaccine already, and the company is keeping all the restrictions to avoid the spread of the virus (rapid testing 3x/week, mandatory use of masks, virtual meetings). That’s not the issue. I just wasn’t expecting it to happen tomorrow, and I felt extremely anxious about it. It’s like I’m being forced out of my cocoon. Maybe I thought this process would be more gradual, like working a few days at home then a few days at the office, until all came back to “normal”.

There is something about this situation that bothers me: the fact that there will be no openness to “occasional” remote work after we get back to working “normally” at the office. I think in some industries there have been discussions over having flexible working arrangements from now on. And I think that is a cool option to have. I don’t think that is going to happen within my company.

I’ve developed some habits that help me cope with stress, like meditating early in the afternoon or whenever I feel something triggered me, taking 15 minutes breaks to read a book, or just stopping and breathing some fresh air on my balcony.

I’m wondering how am I going to keep these habits at the office. It seems harder over there. Meditating? Pfff… I’ll probably have to use the lady’s room. We’ll see!

#noisymusings #work #anxiety

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By Noisy Deadlines Minimalist in progress, nerdy, introvert, skeptic. I don't leave without my e-reader.